Mixing personal with professional is a recipe for failure they say. I like to say that is not what you do, is how you do it. In this article I put together 5 practices that I apply at work and in my relationship and they absolutely work.
You may be skeptical about it but, if these tactics work at office where you don’t know so well your colleagues as you know your partner and also, work being a land of mild professional competition, then who is to say they won’t work in your personal life? After all, men are practical and simple and they need to be explicitly told something and not insinuated…that is how they were built.
So deploy some boardroom tactics and this should help you never hear the words “you’re fired”.
Schedule a review
Feedback is crucial at work, otherwise you would have no idea how well you are doing. And in in a relationship, regular appraisals give you the change to discuss problems before they escalate. The reason most men cannot understand what women want is because they do not think the same way and with the same complexity. But think about it, sitting on a problem/complaint without taking some kind of remedial actions until is too late or late enough to explode in a negative manner, could bring detrimental results. So be open and friendly about it and set a discussion. Make sure to let your partner know so that he prepares himself towards resolution. This will be fair for both of you because preparing him an ambush without knowing his part of the grievance, may lead to catastrophic results.
While it is not easy to know or set path for a career growth and direction, trust me when I say its even harder for a relationship. In the latter, there is no specific set of duties that you master and you advance, but its about the link between chemistry and communication. So chemistry is affected often and by different factors like daily problems, stress, family responsibilities etc., which can lead to arguments if not tactfully approached; this breaks the link with the communication. So finding out whether you are on the same frequency with your partner can be a nail-biting conversation but not a negative one. At the end of the day, you want to know the present so you can plan the future.
So consider each one of you making a list of where you see yourself in few years from now and compare them. The lists will be enlightening but not final. This means you will both know how to approach the relationship because you got a grasp of what is in your partner’s head. Then use the list to motivate your partner (or each-other) and make him or her feel confident of what he/she can achieve; become the source of power and inspiration nobody would want to lose.
And nobody like a smart-ass, not even in relationships. Everyone needs encouragement and a rule of thumb in relationships, is that with every criticism, at least 3 positive comments should follow. Men are also sensitive and they hurt as much as women do, maybe even more. The difference is that they are very good at masking it. But this builds up on the inside, and while they don’t usually get feelings of hate, they do tend to change their inner world and become darker and more insensitive.
Happy couples usually appreciate one another and a channel of communication is essential for discussing what each one of you could be doing in order to be better and make the other one happy. Show equal efforts and support so that the other person doesn’t feel like is the only one giving, but also taking.
Happiness is not having what you want, but appreciating what you have. Buddha
Experiences bring people together, whether they are bad or good. Avoid the bad obviously but, this doesn’t mean that if they do happen, it should set you apart. It should bring you closer if you unite to work it through.
Try a small hike or trip for a weekend. Make sure to include activities and not just eat and sleep. If your budget and time allows it, go for my personal favorite which is backpacking travelling. I consider it to be the best couple bonding experience. You go to a place that you don’t know what to expect, a totally different culture or world, nobody knows you there and then you find yourselves in the unknown. You have to make it together, enjoy new cultures, new things, laugh, eat bugs in the Asian markets and make a funny video to use later as a play-sex night blackmail. The simplest the travel, the more experiences it brings because of the effort that both must do. If you just go into a 5 stars hotel,it is most probably going to be just another boring rich people vacation.
Go for a Promotion
At work is easier to find out about a promotion and do your best to achieve it than it is taking a relationship to the next level. How you do that? By simply listening to each other. Focus a few minutes a day on what each-other feels, likes or wants and where are you standing right now considering these facts. This will give more clarity and bring you closer, helping you feel when would be a good time to take things further without asking.
5 work habits with negative effect on your relationship
And because not all work habits are good to be applied on a relationship, I also made a list of 5 work habits you should not apply on your relationship:
- Communicating through email (unless is the only means of communication, which is unlikely)
- Telling him what to do. Through good communication channel, he would focus on what you want or need and he will do it for without you needing to ask for it.
- Pulling a sickie
- Dishing out discipline like arguing for being few minutes late
- Gossiping about work colleagues or friends
Hope the above will be useful to you too. Leave your feedback in a comment below.